Chapter 4: The Stoner Brothers Move To California
It was a sultry semi-Spring Missouri morning when the big move finally occurred.
Gregory laid half naked, sprawled across his bed like an angry octopus. His drool-soaked pillow bore witness to a night chock full of intense, sometimes nightmarish visions of what might be ahead.
The carefully crafted family quilts hurled across the room also testified to a turbulent night in Sleepyville.
Out of sheer routine, Gregory’s insanely-loud alarm clock blasted forth the habitual 5:00 AM
announcement and OUT of sheer routine, Gregory bolted up to start his usual bathroom ritual.
He was halfway through his typical shit,shower & shave when the epiphany dawned on him like a perfectly
timed tab of XTC, on a Saturday Night at your favorite dance club.
” FUUUUUuuuuuuuck that GAME STORE!!!”, Gregory gleefully exclaimed as his shoot double birds into the bathroom mirror.
With three-quarters of an asscheek hanging out & the same clothes he had on yesterday, Our beloved
podcaster swagged forth into the kitchen, like John Wayne on Red Bull,to grab himself some A.M. nourishment.
Sweet Theresa, hereafter to be known as “The Dutchess” or “D.T.”, had been chiding him into putting some health into his otherwise shitty, manufactured, frankenfood diet.
You see, D.T. knew that her soon-to-be-husband would end up a fat,unhealthy,beer bellied “average man” with diabetes
if he continued on the eating habits they had both grown up with, so she had been doing all sorts of things to help evolve his consciousness for the better.
Sweet lil’ notes on the fridge, cute lil’ comics in his weed box, funny lil’ faces drawn on the inside of
his favorite pair of sunglasses were but a few of the measures D.T. was employing for her benevolent
“Wow,Mister!“, she spoke with a awe-struck tone in her voice.
“What’s gotten in YOU this morning?!?!“, she glanced downward to notice the bulging signs
of happiness making themselves known elsewhere.
” Baby, it’s just reeeallly settin’ in!“, G.T.C. replied in earnest exhaustion, both mental &
” No more slaving away for Dan at that soul-less,corporate mall storefront for this muuutherfucka!“
, he chortled as they both laughed and hugged each other good morning.
“You know what today is,right?”, the Dutchess mentioned as she spread the butter on
her breakfast toast.
“Yes,yes,yes,Sweety“, Gregory responded with a degree of dread in his voice.
“Today is THE DAY!“
What made this day different from the rest will have direct impact on what you are about to read and/or hear. What made this day special was THIS was a day of ACTION!
THIS was a day carried with it the allspark of Let’s-put-all-the-bullshit-talking-aside-now
For this, this day was the day Mister Man & his best buddy,Wes
were packing their shit up into Wes‘ car for their break-out trip to
Wes was also coming to the same sorts conclusions as his bro-by-a different-mo, Gregory,had been experiencing. They both knew if they did not get the hell out of Dodge right then and there, chances are, they would never make it out.
This thought completely terrified them both to an equal degree. They just had to do something about it.
Now, neither Gregory or Wes came from especially wealthy families. Sure, they never did without anything,but their families weren’t members of the local country club either.
So, they gathered up all the resources they could gather. Made the town-rounds bidding goodbye to all the friends and family they could and, with the quick fill-up at the local Texaco
– they were OFFfffffffff, speeeeeeding towards their Western Destiny at 87 miles an hour.