“I’m a FAN of MAN!!”

THE LEGALS:

    • Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

(memoir or recent history)

    • This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

(novels, short stories)

    • I have tried to recreate events, locales and conversations from my memories of them. In order to maintain their anonymity in some instances I have changed the names of individuals and places, I may have changed some identifying characteristics and details such as physical properties, occupations and places of residence.

(memoir, autobiography)

    • Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct at press time, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause.

(advice, how-to)

    • This book is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of physicians. The reader should regularly consult a physician in matters relating to his/her health and particularly with respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention.

(health, alternative healing)

    • The information in this book is meant to supplement, not replace, proper (name your sport) training. Like any sport involving speed, equipment, balance and environmental factors, (this sport) poses some inherent risk. The authors and publisher advise readers to take full responsibility for their safety and know their limits. Before practicing the skills described in this book, be sure that your equipment is well maintained, and do not take risks beyond your level of experience, aptitude, training, and comfort level.

(sports, training)

Dear Philistines: Just like YOU,
It is INTENTIONALLY
out-of-sync=P

Transcript

John Milton: Who are you carrying all those bricks for anyway?

[Subiectio: mock dialogue] God? Is that it? God? Well, I tell ya, let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He’s a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do?

[Anaphora: He gives…] I swear, for his own amusement, his own private cosmic gag reel, he sets the rules in opposition.

[Anaphora: his own…] It’s the goof of all time. Look, but don’t touch. Touch, but don’t taste. Taste, don’t swallow.

[Climax: look – touch, touch – taste, taste – don’t swallow. Anadiplosis: touch – touch, taste – taste]

*laughter*

And while you’re jumping from one foot to the next, what is He doing? He’s laughing his sick, fucking ass off. He’s a tight-ass. He’s a sadist. He’s an absentee landlord. Worship that?

Never!

Kevin Lomax: Better reign in hell than to serve in heaven, is that it?

John Milton: Why not? I’m here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began! I’ve nurtured every sensation man has been inspired to have! I cared about what he wanted and I NEVER judged him. Why? Because I never REJECTED him, in spite of all his imperfections!

I’m a fan of man!

[Internal rhyme: fan of man]

I’m a humanist.

Maybe the last humanist

Anaphora: I’m a…] [Epistrophe: humanist.] Who, in their right mind, Kevin, could possibly deny the 20th century was entirely mine? All of it, Kevin! All of it!

[Anaphora: All of it] Mine! I’m peaking, Kevin. It’s my time now. It’s OUR time.[Anaphora: It’s]